Actually I just…

Actually I just woke up one day and decided I didn’t want to feel like that anymore, or ever again, so I changed. Just like that.

I can’t begin to tell you how this quote made me feel. I don’t think anyone famous wrote it (yet, i’m sure they’ve said it a few times). Just an ordinary person, and to get a little more detailed, a woman. I believe a woman said this with every ounce of her being. Powerful. Maybe angry with a splash of a hangover? Maybe after a fight with a loved one. After a rough day or night at work. Who knows, but its powerful and I connected with this on a  tremendously deep level, and by deep I mean it rang a few bells in my head.

I believe, in our 20’s, we learn a lot. We learn what we want. We learn what we need. We learn who we are.

Actually I just woke up one day and decided I didn't want to feel like that anymore or ever again so I changed

I had a wonderful conversation with a coworker yesterday who was struggling with his love life. This person is open and free to the world so, normally, he isn’t shaken too easily. Yet, he’s thinking more and more about his situation. He has been dating his significant other for several months now and he’s beginning to see a pattern. The pattern is within her. As time goes on, the pattern has become more apparent and extreme:  a void being filled through others and not within herself.

My coworker, again, a very self sufficient person, sees this as a road block and I agree that it is. It’s beginning to change his lifestyle or “well-being”. Note that I said “change”. Change is NOT a bad thing (in my eye) if you want it. Like the quote, change is good if it helps you be the person you want to be. If you decide you want to change and realize it makes you unhappy, you’ve learned your lesson.

What do you do now? 20-somethings have a real advantage. today. We can take our time without the many pressures (compared to a couple decades ago) to get married, have kids, “find the one”. We need to take a step back and really think about what makes us be the person we want to be. I know, I know you’re probably thinking “but how do I know who or what kind of person I need to be”. Well, honestly I can’t tell you that but I can help by telling you the questions I asked myself…

  1. What makes me happy without any outside influences?
  2. Have you ever had that gut feeling more than once in a week that something isn’t right?
  3. Who makes you happy?
  4. Do you surround yourself with people (or even just a couple of people) that have a negative/damaging outlook on life?
  5. Do you exercise by yourself? (If not, do it and clear your mind)
  6. Are you self-sufficient? (Did you lose yourself?)

Read the quote. Make a change. Learn a lesson… about YOURSELF.

Disclaimer: this is my personal opinion, I am not a professional at relationship advice. Just expressing what I see and learned.